I Found a Book

No. 16

Latest published notes -

“We have to want it for ourselves -

Cleanliness, routine, sobriety, organization, peace, safety, inspiration, spontaneity, excellence… no person or idea will outweigh the structure and relaxation met by following through on personal duty. There is no afterlife of perfect timing waiting.”

“Gardening and bread baking are not things you can “just do.” I have tried before, in a previous lifetime. Planting things with rich soil to bloom, eating things with care to rise, resemble permanence, nourishment, and are a product of intention. Without that presence, without your heart at peace, nothing grows or tastes so fruitful.”

“My favorite thing to watch, are the slow blinks of my babies falling asleep peacefully in bed. It goes away. It’s one of the things you forget goes away. When I lay with Rowan, and his Spider-Man night light sits directly opposite my head, squished between wall and bedding on the other side of his face, I get a perfect silhouette view of long eyelashes, heavy with each close. I watch them fiercely in awe, open and shut again. It is in these moments only that we can feel time - after it is gone.”

“Inspiration comes from doing what is good for you. When I force less; agenda, ideas, timelines, and allow natural rhythm to lead my thought, what arrives is always more powerful, beautiful, real. This doesn’t mean there won’t be times to fight, wriggle, or push. But denying truth in the moment, is always a mistake.”

Baking Blondies!

A little note about my mother’s blondies, which I baked two nights in a row to bring to some family gatherings we were invited to last weekend (we have lucked out with the most incredible friends and community here).

I did not have granulated sugar, so I opted to use all brown sugar, and then reduced the amount slightly. The second night, I was short one stick of butter so I used 1/2 cup melted and cooled coconut oil instead… which made them perfectly chewy, and were a total hit for the coconut lovers in the group. Also, if you use a wider chocolate chip (the Ghirardelli semi-sweet chips are the highest quality sold here at our local grocery store), the blondies can cook a bit longer for the crispy edge fans, with perfectly gooey pools of chocolate on the inside.

Recipe -

1/2 cup room temperature unsalted butter
1/2 cup melted and cooled coconut oil 
1.3 cup brown sugar firmly packed
2 eggs
1/2 tablesp kosher salt
1 teasp vanilla 
1 teasp baking soda
2 and 1/8 cup flour
1.5 cup high quality semi-sweet chocolate chips

Cream together butter, oil, and sugar. Add eggs, vanilla, salt, and combine. Dissolve in soda. Mix in flour. Add chips last. Spread onto a 13x9 inch baking pan greased with butter, and bake in a 350 degree oven for 15-18 minutes, or until edges are golden brown and a toothpick comes out clean. 

Strawberry Rhubarb “summer sauce” linked here.

I found a book -

I feel lucky everyday to live at the farm, but one of the most wonderful parts about moving into Matt’s furnished museum-like country house has been the home library of nearly every kind of art - giant coffee table photography books, dusty old cookbooks, tiny bound poetry and philosophy work… they all have a place here with significance or sentiment, stacked on shelves and tables for display. When dusting the antique desk in our bedroom, I found a collection of writings about Zen, four books in one of short stories. This is not the first time I have unassumingly reached for something and have it turn out to be exactly what I needed (a lesson in itself). With our faces in our phones circulating what it thinks we want to see, there is no newness or ability to find passion beyond what it feeds us. The “explore” page is only getting you so far, and also nowhere at the same time.

Our staleness and complete fatigue with imagination and motivation is a product of mental immobility. How are we supposed to build and contribute to our own worlds