Grit and Cheer Come Together

Sometimes I Know No. 14

Latest published notes -

“You actually find your happiness, by leaning into what is hard, uncomfortable, maybe not “ideal”, but what is rooted in truth, consistency, effort, and making it wonderful. Never by running. Never by escaping. Never by burying. Grit and cheer come together.”

“We are not inspired inside. Prison has a name for a reason. Awakening, creativity, purpose, vitality, are born in movement, experience… not too much, not for escape, not for busyness… Holding yourself in, putting that thing off, breaking the words you tell to yourself, is the very best way to be lost. And so, what comes from you, comes from how you behave.”

“Our bodies are meant to soften in sync with our hearts and minds. Lines of laughter, grief, and movement tell the story of ease as we age. Breath and retreat reflect the peace we choose to nourish. And understanding blossoms, as we reach beyond ourselves for true knowledge, appreciation, and patience with the lessons ongoing. I actually never want to be so perky, stiff, or taught, again.”

“One year sober today. No lick of anything tastes as good as the sweetness born from life unaltered, being 100% awake, on, excited, ready, able, for your children, family… yourself. It is all hard and unpredictable enough.” 4/4/25

Trunk birthdays -

Isaac turned nine on Monday, and between the custody schedule, sports, and weather, planning a formal birthday party in April is nearly always impossible. And, Isaac being the social inclusive boy he is, wants to invite everyone from any sports team he’s playing on, his class, etc… I started doing this years ago when he first asked to have a “party”… it was mid pandemic / divorce, and I was on a budget (still am). This has since been our tradition, and the kids look forward to it. I think celebrating our children can be grand and full, in a modest way.

Here’s my very basic formula for hosting out of a trunk -

Pick a location… last year when I was living in an apartment blocks away from school, we spent a lot of time on the blacktop - Isaac played pickup soccer with any kids who wandered by, and Maddox and RB biked / scootered. Timing was a Saturday morning, and we went early to pick dozens of his favorite donuts (Pharoah’s). I purchased two carafes of coffee from our neighborhood Kaldi’s, and hot chocolate for the kids.

Find out if their closest friend can be there! When selecting a date and time, I reach out to the mom of the friend we get together with the most. Because we are not formally doing RSVP’s, if the turnout is smaller than you think, they will be comfortable and happy having their closest friend. I believe too, that this teaches the importance of quality relationships early on… you’re not having a birthday party just to have one, you’re showing your kids that who you surround yourself with is not about a number, but real connection, and that their presence during these events/milestones matters!

Desperate for wholesomeness and ritual, one year I made Monique’s Tahini Chocolate Chip Cookie Cake, and since then, it has become our family’s “birthday cake.” Baked the night before, to sit out on the counter with its drippy chocolate ganache… you can get 17ish slimmer slices out of it with two 8 inch pans, and it’s always a crowd pleaser. Serve on a large platter for easy transfer, and display on a baking sheet.

For invitations, I send out a text to the group chat of the sport team(s), and any other parents of kids mentioned, “Hi all! We’ll be celebrating Isaac’s April 14th birthday on ___ at the soccer fields with pizza and cake at 5 pm. No gifts please!” I’ve also added a